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1-2-25

New year, new friendships I had to cut off. I say friendships, but it's really only one. Depending on how everything plays out, I could lose multiple people. Or I could lose nobody. I don't really know. I guess I'm just at a point where I don't really know how to feel about this situation. I guess some friendships can't last. Some things can't change. Maybe I'm overthinking, or maybe I'm feeling like I'm unfulfilled. Either way, It's not too unusual for me to feel this way. For other people it is, and that's okay. We all struggle differently. Especially me.

12-18-2024

I don't know how to feel about certain things. For example, I put in lots of effort for finding a job, or trying to do something that could turn into a career it either doesn't work or backfires on me. Every time I apply for a job, I get either never hear back, or get outright denied. I really do want something to do outside of being at home all the time wasting away. Trust me, as much as I look like a chronically online loser, I really don't wanna be one. I want to be better. I want to experience different things, but I can't do that without having some capital to stand on. Maybe I'm just overthinking this and need to take things slower. If I fully commit to my content creation goals, I think I'll be able to go somewhere with it. Again though, I think I'm just rambling.

12-17-2024

This is the day I launched the site. I don't really have much to talk about, other than being really proud of myself for being able to make a site like this. I guess I'll use this as an opportunity to thank the people that I love the most. My mother, and everyone in my immediate family. Everyone I live with. My boyfriend, who I love with all my heart. Chris (there's two so both of ya'll), Astro, Astrid, Grimm, Lexi, Hours, Rex, Cal, and anyone else I haven't named. Ya'll are the reason I'm even still here to be honest, I feel like without you guys I would've given up on a lot of things. Probably even life itself. Sorry if that got depressing, but I don't really have any other way of expressing this shit.

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